What others think
What can I do when my boss launches verbal abusive assaults on me?????
Help!
My boss just yelled at me in a full on attack.
My boss is high maintenance, high stress, and very moody literally 100% of the time.
He unleashed at me this morning over matters that were completely insignificant to our work at hand. I felt like I did as a child when my mom or dad would scold me for being disobedient. He stresses over minutia, he stresses over everything. He has OCPD and anxiety. He demands everything be done right, he demands things be done when he wants them to be done, no excuses. He is a total jerk. "Jerk" is an understatement.
My boss is a true to form workplace bully. All the one liners you can possibly think of apply.... "you work for me, i tell you what to do, not the other way around....don't tell me what to do", etc.
My boss completely verbally assaulted me, cussing and flashing his eyes. Then he yelled at me for standing there while he yelled at me.
I was calm and collected. I think that pissed him off even more because I did not give into his anger.
I repeatedly said, "you need to calm down and lower your voice...i understand you are angry and we can talk about this in a better way....this is not the way to get through to me...you need to stop yelling at me....please calm down".
I honestly don't care what I did "wrong". I DO NOT deserve to be yelled at and cussed at in the workplace. Not by my boss, not by anyone.
If he wants to fire me, let him fire me. But do not verbally abuse me. BUT he wont fire me. Why? Cuz having someone around to unload verbal darts at, gives him some sense of security. If there's no one around to vent at, that means he's alone and he ultimately has issues being alone.
Honestly, there's NO room for verbal abuse in the workplace. Its unprofessional, completely humiliating and absolutely unacceptable.
Yelling at someone, cussing at them, and throwing personal jabs is prohibited in the workplace.
Please give me some advice, besides the obvious (to quit). Times are hard, the economy is really rough right now and I'm concerned about finding another job in a short period of time.
He kept saying, "don't ever tell me what to do, don't ever tell me what to do". So obviously he has a superiority complex. I should have said, "find a really good panel of therapists and find some really good medication and find my replacement cuz I quit".
What can I do or say to defend myself when my boss seeks me out and assaults me.
Well, can you go speak to HIS supervisor?
Otherwise, since you are not ready to quit, ask to speak to him in private and tell him that his behaviour is not acceptable, it is distressing to your work performance, that you understand he is also under stress, and you would prefer not to have to "take it further" (and would rather resolve it NOW with him)....whether this means a visit with the labour board, his supervisor, or whoever. There are laws about that. ALSO, keep track of what he says, when he says it, etc, as you may need this to file a grievance. I would also look into whether you are legally able to record these "rants" of his.
Most people, sadly, don't go this far and (like I did) just quit a crappy job. The problem is that if you're in a lousy job, you often don't CARE to fight it for months as it's not worth the trouble. Unfortunately, this means that nasty, evil, bullish bosses continue their merry way, sometimes for decades, before someone DOES go to the trouble to bring them down.
Personally, if I were you, I would seriously go hunting for another job, and quit asap when you get one. Make sure when you leave that you tell him why you're leaving. Not likely to make much difference to him, but who knows....
try contacting the department of labor or the unemployment office. that's harrassment and you could probably collect unemployment should you leave for GOOD CAUSE. my boss (THE COMPANY OWNER) has done the same to me..except, he said i deserve and should be shot. if i had the money..i'd seek legal counsel. what scares me is that he has friends in high places so i'd probably lose and be broke....but if you have the means DO IT. employees have rights and we are not slaves or animals. i wonder if your boss was born with a silver spoon so he/she doesnt know what its like to have to EARN their living..i know my boss did.
My boss is self employed. Its his business I work for. He has no superior. He IS the superior as far as the latter goes at work.
He was not born with a silver spoon. Actually he had a terrible childhood with parents, step parents, etc. He claims he never really had a childhood. I understand all his childhood traumas. Literally it IS post traumatic stress disorder. I understand that.
However, NO ONE ever calls him out and if they do, he still takes control.
He's an over acheiver because no one ever gave him attention as a child, so the only time he can get attention is if he DEMANDS it and forces people to pay attention to him with his flashy cars, great finantial acheivements and material things. Sadly, its true.
Several of my friends say the same two words to me ...... "get out!!"
So he has no superior, I cant report him to his boss cuz he IS the boss and ceo of his business. However, I do plan on getting another job. I have documented his tantrums and specific phrases he has said to me and emailed them to myself so they are time/dated.
My boss also knows LOTS of people in high places ...... everyone from P.I.'s to major attorneys. To fight him would be a waste of resources. I would lose. However, I wouldnt mind quiting then throwing a little wrench into his gears (so to speak). Just a little legal backlash would be completely appropriate.
I really appreciate the counsel given thus far (above) on here. I do feel like a slave though. Its tormenting. However, the power is in my hands.
My next struggle will be to get time off of work so that I can seek employment and interview elsewhere. Im petrified because my boss most likely will NOT give me time off, not even for personal time... I recently went to the doctor and he made me take the business cell phone (where ALL of our business calls are forwarded) to my doctor appointment. I guess I could have just left the cell phone in the car, but I was scared to! My boss is trying to control me and intimidate me even while I'm in the doctor's office!
I wonder how I will be able to get a day off work. He doesnt allow sick days. I could always lie I suppose. But Im an honest and honorable person. Even still, ya gotta do what ya gotta do to get out!
do you work in wholesale distrubution? sounds like you used to work for my boss. lets call him, bald, chubby, and......a fellon. mid 30's. does any of that sound familiar?
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