What others think
Wife's boss is being a twat
So this guy, rather young (30) runs his own store in a franchise. My wife has been working on/off for him for a few years. He supposedly thinks very highly of her, occasionally baiting her with "I'll give you your own store" or "the other managers are lame ducks, I want you to be GM".
She'd rather not work there, but the current offer was tempting enough - manage the store with another assistant manager, and a shift manager.
After a couple months back on the job, suddenly, it seems that every day I get a phone call from her complaining about how her once great boss does nothing but bitch at her for slacking off.
My wife is a tough person, she doesn't fuck around with anyone, she doesn't slack, she doesn't play favorites or let her subordinates slack off. The two other managers have some kind of paranoia however, and continually tell the employees that they needn't listen to her, etc. They've gone behind her back on one or more occasions to narc her out for talking to an employee for 5 minutes. They're clearly grabbibg at straws here.
Her boss, who only rarely ever stops in to check up on the store (maybe once a month? twice a month?) somehow cant help but find time in his busy entrepreneurial day to call and bitch at her for fucking off and not doing her job.
This irritating pet habit of his is now personally affecting my life in a very bad manner, and I am about at my limit... but he's a nice guy! he really likes her and thinks she has potential!
I had prevously done some business with him and another partner, as a result I have his email and cell contact information. I have never been more tempted to write a very blunt email to let him know how I am sick and tired I am of hearing my wife complain about being bitched at for no good reason.
My wife is too afraid to come back and respond to his pressing, too afraid he'll fire her. WTF? How does it go from "I want you to be my GM! i want you to run your own store" to "he'll fire me! I can't tell him that! I just tell him that I'm doing my job, and I'm not letting anyone get away with anything when i'm here. Everyone works when I'm here."
Should I do what my wife can't? should I step in and tell him what's up? or do I need to simply suck it up and realize that until she quits that job I'll never hear the end of it!? Sure I bitch to her about my job.. but my boss NEVER bitches at me, for anything, he has no reason to, but my boss is also a much different type of person than hers, and that difference is astounding.
Thanks
--Pissed off husband.
She's a big girl and will handle it herself "IF SHE WANTS TO". If you interfere, it's possibly that you will make it worse for her and guess who she'll blame for that? Think of how you would feel if you were a boss and someone's spouse started spouting off to you.
Stay out of it! Lend your supportive ear at home, but let her deal with her own issues.
Your wife should start writing down everything he says to her and the day and time it happens and what the situation is (this could be used as legal evidence against the boss when she confronts him and if need be take it to her boss's boss or a legal court that sounds like harrassment to me). This type of behavior is not acceptable in anytype of work enviroment and obviously it is probably affecting your marriage she could sue for harrassment. Make sure she keeps the log either on a thumb drive that can be encrypted or in a notebook that she can lock up, if your wife doesn't have a desk job as soon as the situation it over tell her to keep a notebook in her employee locker and write it down but make sure it is kept safe. This sounds like a hostile work situation. For her boss to tell her subordinates that they needn't listen to her is bad management on her part and sounds a little like sexism he might have been trying to come on to her and she turned him down and is probably now taking it out on her (which is reprisal and it's illegal)
loserville welcomes your complaining. I go to work and you dont see or hear me complaining. Booyeah Booyeah!
I agree with both posts previous to some extent. But the realization is that managers simply MUST have the respect of their subordinates first and foremost.
Regarding your actions...please do not undermine her situation by reacting FOR her. It is possible (however slight that possibility may be) that he is simply trying to get her to be proactive...stand up and be heard, so to speak; i.e. to be a manager of employees, not just the checks and balances. It sounds as if she has a great opportunity here if it pans out that he is legit with his intentions. He can decide her upward mobility alone..no board members, co-owners, etc...one person is easier to convince of your worthiness than the latter (multiple).
It is definitely worth finding out..which is easy enough. A confidential conversation with him expressing her concerns, likes, and issues with the "day-to-day" operations. If he is truly concerned about his business (which most are in his position), then he will no doubt appreciate her ability to say how it really is...stand up for herself without any tone that could be misconstrued as unprofessional.
Documenting activities is a requirement for successful managers, but should be done in private...eluding the appearance of "reporting" on others around her. Do so consistently, documenting the good and the bad EVERY day. This allows tracking of all situations, and...should a legal situation occur, is an undeniable and inherently valuable piece of "evidence"...but ONLY if it is done on a daily basis...not a record of sporadic events. Such recordings are construed in courts as "selective documentation for the benefit of a positive appearance"...in other words, it is simply a "cover my ass" document that implies bias.
She needs to be more assertive, not you.
My opinion is based on experience. My response is limited to the information you provided so it may only apply incrementally to this situation. One thing is certain- her skills have been recognized, and she needs to have faith in them...and to act as a manager when dealing with her peers as well as her employees. Respect, MUST be a priority.
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